“Everything Needs Maintenance”
By Ron Stultz
8 September 2005
When I graduated from
college in 1969, I went to work for a defense contractor making a special
purpose computer system, which was to fly in Air Force jet aircraft. Really not prepared for the job I was given
of computer logic design, whenever I got had a problem, I would go to a
coworker named Dick Parks.
Now
Dick was this gentle giant of a man standing 6 foot 4 inches or so and with
this long, shaggy beard. Anyway,
besides being a very good computer logic designer, Dick also was an actor in
various locally produced plays as well as playing trombone in a local jazz band
but perhaps most important of all to me was that Dick was an amateur
philosopher and was always giving me some deep insight into something or
another. But one day, really out of the
blue, he turned to me and said, “You know, everything needs maintenance.” And
that statement hit me like a tone of bricks because it rang so true at the time
and still does today with me.
“Everything
needs maintenance.” A simple enough
statement but try to wrap your mind around it fully and you will see it is
really not as simple as it seems. Of
course you know that your car needs maintenance, houses have to be repainted,
gutters cleaned out, on and on but “Everything needs maintenance” also can and
does apply to your health, your mind, your spirituality and relationships you
have with others.
Sometimes,
I think “Everything needs maintenance” hit me a little too hard, as it seems
like I spend a significant portion of each and every day, doing some form of
maintenance. All I have to do is look
around and see something, which needs my attention and some maintenance, for
example the yard around my home. Yards
are one big maintenance all the time.
But perhaps the most important maintenance we can and should do is with
others. “Maintenance” sounds like such
a harsh or mechanical or something wrong word for maintaining relationships but
it is basically what must be done and the key here is attention and communications.
A
rose bush in my yard will not survive for long if I do not water it and protect
it from insects and various plant diseases.
The same is true of relationships.
How can one expect for a relationship with another to be healthy without
communications and real, honest, attention to the needs of the other person or
group for that matter?
Marriage
is a real example of “Everything needs maintenance”. Seems to me that a lot of couples get married and then think
living together is all that is required for their relationship to remain strong
but I do not think that is true. Only
if both parties consider the other person as someone who needs maintenance,
caring, affection and actually provides it will the relationship last.
Because
of the demands of modern life, maintenance can often become a stepchild to
other desires of wants. For example,
who really enjoys spending money on the replacement of a roof? You had a roof on your home before the
replacement and so what did you get for your money you did not already
have? Nothing.
In
relationships, it is easy to think that the vows of marriage are like a roof
which never wears out and which does not have to be looked at or inspected now
again for signs of wear and potential replacement. Now I do not mean replacement here in the sense of a new
relationship partner but rather, some shift in our daily interchange with our
marriage partner.
Just
like the rose in my garden, if I do not water my partner with affection and
interest, why should I expect he or she to bloom for me and give anything back
in return?
“Everything
needs maintenance.”
Had
a college professor once who had this sign up behind his desk in his small
office which read “Remember you have a tendency to intimidate” which was a
reminder to himself not to be so hard on students when they came to him for
advice. I think that making yourself a
sign, which reads, “Everything needs maintenance” would be a worthwhile
endeavor until the concept has time to fully work its way into your
consciousness.
“Everything needs maintenance” ought be one of your basis life principles and remember it always.